What if?

Written By Vesper

Today I cannot help but feel very small and timid and afraid. I am afraid that I am failing at something I can't even name. I’m afraid that I am made up only of flaws. I am terrified that my love, at its core, can only hurt.

What if I don't deserve to love and be loved?

But what if I am loved deeply and completely? What if I am seen and remembered for the fact that I am loving? What if I am known for bringing Capri Suns to my friends on the days they’re feeling sad? What if they talk about my sweet long hugs and the way that I am always ready to listen? What if my chosen name is an accurate portrayal of my influence on the world around me? What if I am an evening star in the darkness of their day?

What if I am trying my very best, and at my core, I am a kind and loving being,

who exudes kindness and gentleness and love?

What if I was born to love and fall in love with my friends?

What if I was born to learn to love myself?

What if I keep on living to find the love that I don’t yet know?

Vesper

VESPER (they/them) is a queer disabled college student from Ohio attending Miami University! They are very gay and often use the term 'dyke' as an affectionate self-descriptor, particularly in queer-friendly spaces. They are studying psychology and art therapy and hope to one day be a practicing art therapist! They're finishing their undergraduate degree in May, and after that plan on going wherever the wind takes them with their lovely ESA, Larry the cat. You can find them on instagram @vespers.sweet.song to see more of their silly shenanigans!

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