run away with me (not like that)
you say you want to be more than friends
as if what we are is not enough to satiate
your desire to place your searing lips
on every inch of my skin
as if the bracelets i make you
with delicate hands that want nothing
more than to tie the string around your
wrists aren’t enough for you
aren’t enough to make you
want to stay even if
i don't want to latch my
mouth onto yours
like my life depends on it
or trail my fingers
over every groove on your spine
and curve on your hips
and i know that when your
chapped lips mouth
iloveyou
in the middle of the night
from across the space between
our hands too cold or maybe
just too scared to hold
that you mean iloveyou
in the way people standing
on altars and twirling through
an endless expanse of time spent together
mean it but
the only love i’ve ever known
wasn’t the kind
all the lyrics are written about
it wasn’t making out at the back of a movie theater;
tongues fighting for space in my mouth
and it wasn’t scaling a building
to make love under the stars
or escaping in the dead of night,
a getaway born from infatuation or maybe just stupidity
no, the love i knew was delicately
brushing hair into ponytails
and carefully spreading peanut butter
on sandwiches
the love i know is wild looks
that are the catalyst
to the next dance party or baking escapade
and i think every day that
this is the love i want
because there is not enough room in my heart
for the kind full of passion and aggressivity, the
kind of love that seems to be your only desire.
trust me, i have been where you are,
confused as to why my best friend cannot feel
the same way they told me they did,
six months slaughtered in the name of a swallowed lie.
and maybe one day i will understand that love
does not always mean “in love”
[i am sure i will feel betrayed]
but still.
you cannot mean “i love you” the way i mean it
when i text it to you
every night, this time my
heart beating with an ache for
the kind of
love that isn’t made for movie screens
but rather for just us two
running away to a cottage
in the woods where we can live
without ever having to worry
about being
more than friends