Introduction

Introduction — by Taylor Michael Simmons 

Hi y’all, my name is Taylor Michael Simmons and for as long as I can remember I’ve loved movies. There has always been something comforting about them for me. While I’m watching a movie I don’t have to deal with the little anxieties of daily life or the much larger anxieties that come with the crushing weight of existential dread. While the best films often ask us to grapple with these very things I don’t seem to mind. It’s much safer to traverse the rocky terrain of the complexities of the human condition in the comfort of a cushioned AMC recliner seat after being serenaded by the holy incantation as spoken by Nicole Kidman. 

Like many young creatives in Los Angeles I work in the service industry in order to pay my bills. But more than anything I just want to make movies and watch and think and talk about them with anyone who will listen. I am a fairly quiet person. If you see me at a party I will most likely be in the corner playing around on the calculator app. But god help you if you start talking to me about my letterboxd account or what movies I’ve watched lately. 

The following is my attempt to present you with five films that I think deserve your time and attention. Each film deals with a ‘first’: (1) first throuple, (2) first sleepover, (3) first love, (4) first best friend, and (5) first marriage. My presentation of these films will include some slight spoilers so proceed with caution. Don’t worry I won’t give away any huge twists. You won’t find any ‘they were dead the whole time’ or ‘that’s not your sister she’s actually your mom’ here. Also film is subjective so if you don’t agree with my takes that’s fine but just know that you’re dead to me.

First Throuple — Passages (2023) by Ira Sachs 

We all know someone who just straight up sucks. An absolute garbage person. Maybe you work with them. Maybe they’re the partner of a friend. Maybe they are your partner. Now imagine someone made a movie about that person. A film titled The Worst Person in the World was released in 2021 (it’s wonderful and you should watch it), if THAT movie had not been made then THIS movie would have been titled The Worst Person in the World. At the very least they should have considered titling it The Worst Person in Continental Europe. 

Passages follows Tomas, a toxic creative exploring his bisexuality and testing just how open his marriage really is. Some might call him a catch (he is hot) while others would call him just the absolute worst (he does suck). Some of his less heinous activities include constantly popping into the apartment you used to share together without texting first, wearing a day-old crop top to meet your parents for the first time, and weeping on his knees in the hallway of a primary school. Don’t worry, Passages isn’t all about the horrific behavior of its main character, it’s also about the outfits. Just fit after fit, I promise. 

Don’t watch this with your parents or on a plane cause it’s chalk full of fucking. If you’re into movies about people just constantly making the wrong decisions and watching the consequences of those decisions come crashing down on them then give Passages a try.

First Sleepover — House (1977) by Nobuhiko Obayashi 

Do you remember your first sleepover? I do, maybe, I don’t actually know if it was my first but it’s the first that I can remember and isn’t that kind of the same thing? We watched Monsters Inc. and all slept on the floor. It was pretty cool. I think I peed my pants at some point but I can’t be certain. Do you know that thing where you are at a sleepover and the lights are off and it’s bedtime and people will talk about random things and the space between what is said grows longer and longer and then someone says something and it’s quiet afterwards for longer than it’s been for anything else and you think to yourself ‘I wonder if that will be the last thing said tonight’ or is that just me? 

Anyways, House follows Gorgeous, a young school girl with a dead mom. Her dad has just returned from working abroad, in fact, he brought the broad home with him. [hold for laughter] Gorgeous’ dad has a new girlfriend and she feels weird about it. In order to reconnect with her dear departed mom, Gorgeous invites six of her closest friends to visit her maternal aunt at their ancestral home. But uh oh, the house is haunted and the aunt is super creepy. Prepare yourself for decapitated heads, carnivorous pianos, and accidentally drinking blood because you didn’t look at what was in your glass for some reason. 

It’s easy to look at this movie and see something that is weird and wacky and easy to laugh at. Don’t get me wrong it is all of these things. But it is also so much more. House is a film bursting with creativity. The edges might be a bit rough and you can literally see the greenscreen (it’s actually blue but whatever) but my god is it wonderful.

First Love — Moonlight (2016) by Barry Jenkins 

Being queer can be an isolating experience. Too many of us are forced to hide this part of ourselves for the sake of self-preservation. We cover ourselves up, building a suit of armor around us in order to protect ourselves from the harshness of the outside world. It can be difficult to strip ourselves of this armor and if we are ever able to do so we are quickly reminded why we built it in the first place. This makes it all the more meaningful when someone sees through all that armor and makes us feel like we just don’t need it anymore. 

In Moonlight we are presented with the life of Chiron as seen in three distinct parts: childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. As a child Chiron is quiet and small for his age, earning him the nickname ‘Little’ amongst his peers. These same peers pick on him constantly. His only friend seems to be Kevin, another young boy who understands the importance of not appearing ‘soft’. As an adolescent Chiron is alone. He is harassed by classmates. He wanders the halls of his school by himself. At home, he does not receive the love and support he so desperately needs. His only friend still seems to be Kevin and although their friendship appears superficial, there is clearly something beneath the surface connecting these two young men. They run into one another on the beach one night and their friendship briefly becomes something more. But this moment of intimacy, vulnerability, and softness is short lived and the harsh world awaits their return. The two boys are faced with a demand for violence and they have to put on their armor to prove to the world that they are not ‘soft’. As an adult Chiron has fully constructed his armor. Like many men, Chiron has found safety in a performative masculinity. He has attained power and money and physical strength and this protects him from the threats of his surroundings. Then he gets a phone call. It’s Kevin. Suddenly all this armor is stripped away and what is left is the same little boy we met at the start of the film. 

This film is easily one of the greatest of the 21st century and will continue to influence cinema for years to come. There is so much more to this film than what I describe above. Chiron’s relationships with his mother and his surrogate father figure, the kindest drug dealer ever depicted on screen, are deeply important to our understanding of Chiron’s character and journey. There is such depth and complexity and empathy in Moonlight and you deserve to watch it for yourself to see what sticks with you. If you have not already seen it I suggest you do so immediately. But be prepared to feel some feelings.

First Best Friend — Daisies (1966) by Věra Chytilová 

Every now and again you will encounter a pair of friends that are truly inseparable. They seemingly spend every waking moment together and they probably sleep in the same bed too. Maybe they’re siblings or roommates or dating or simply two halves of the same soul destined to exist in two separate bodies. They are also deeply annoying. Sure they may be fun at parties. They’re wacky and have good stories and are natural entertainers and alleviate any pressure you may feel to actually interact with others and be vulnerable with another human person for once in your life. They also happen to be generally unconcerned with the wellbeing of those around them. They seem to care only for themselves and each other and sometimes they don’t even seem to care about each other all that much. It’s possible that in the face of an ever decaying world they have made the choice to live life carelessly, and they have chosen to do so together. 

Marie I and Marie II are these inseparable friends. So entwined that they even share the same name. As Daisies begins, we see the Marie’s make a pact that ‘when everything is being spoiled . . . we’ll be spoiled too.’ The shenanigans and general tomfoolery shortly follow. They trick men into buying them extravagant meals, they harass local bar patrons, and they try to Slyvia Plath (rip girlie) themselves in their apartment but whoopsies they left the window open. The Marie’s seem hell bent on the consumption and/or destruction of everything around them, even themselves. 

This film was released in 1966 in Czechoslovakia and immediately banned by the government. The film's director, Věra Chytilová, was barred from making films from 1969 to 1975. Let me rephrase, this film was deemed so offensive by government officials that they refused to allow the film to be shown to audiences and then banned the director from making movies for 6 years. If this doesn’t get you jazzed up to see this movie then I don’t know what will.


First Marriage — Possession (1981) by Andrzej Żuławski 

Are couples inherently disgusting? Of course when you are in the midst of a relationship with another human person it can be beautiful and exciting and fulfilling on some core human level. There is clearly something within ourselves that drives us to love and to be loved. When we engage in the act of love, especially when it is romantic or sexual, our brain rewards us with chemicals that make us feel good. These chemicals make us want more. We become addicted to this feeling and these actions. We simply can’t help ourselves. But how does this ‘love’ look from the outside? The very same relationships that can be euphoric for those engaged in them can also appear grotesque to those who are not. Maybe it’s because some acts of human intimacy are objectively strange when removed from the chemicals they release in our brains. Kissing is weird. I’ll say it. It’s fun and nice and sure I like doing it as much as the next guy but let’s be honest it’s yucky. Or, perhaps, the aversion we might feel to a couple displaying their affection for one another with an act of physical intimacy comes from the covetousness that rises up within ourselves as we grapple with the very real possibility of dying unloved and alone. It’s also possible that the relationship itself is repulsive. 

Possession presents its viewers with a truly repulsive relationship in the form of the disintegrating marriage of Mark and Anna. The plot is fairly straightforward. Husband returns home from business. Wife leaves husband. Husband hires private investigator to follow wife. Private investigator finds wife’s horrifying fuck monster. You know the rest. The story is not unreasonably absurd. The modern viewer could easily get this film confused with the psychological trauma based A24 type horror films of the 21st century. But what sets this film apart is the way its story is told. In particular the performances given by its leads, Isabelle Adjani and Sam Neil, and just the wildest supporting performance given by Heinz Bennet. Seriously, each of these actors are absolutely bringing it. If you are not accustomed with art-house cinema, as pretentious as that sounds, you will be truly floored by the acting in Possession. Even if you have wandered into the world of the Criterion Collection and repertory cinemas the performances here will drop your jaw. Most acting tends towards realism. It’s people acting like people. But nobody is acting like a person in Possession. And that’s kind of the point. 

It might be a little tough to go from the milk-toast mind-numbing second-screening of made for streaming paint-by-numbers bullshit to a film made by a Polish man processing his divorce in the weirdest way possible but it is more than worth it. If you can tolerate the full body discomfort of watching Possession you will find yourself giddy with laughter while the words ‘what the fuck’ escape involuntarily from your body as you watch the craziest shit you’ve ever seen in your life. Also, shout out the Berlin Wall.